entrepreneur

“Thank you for submitting your application for consideration for our Virtual Assistant position. At this time, we do not believe you would be a good fit for the position. Please consider taking courses and reapply in one year.”

I had been turned down for a $16 an hour virtual assistant position through an online agency. After having failed to get any interviews from applying to in-person part-time positions, I had tried applying to online agencies for remote administrative assistant positions. With both a bachelor’s and a master’s degree – with a 4.0 GPA, and numerous years of administrative work experience, I was told to take courses and reapply in one year in order to be considered as a virtual assistant.

That was back in 2017, prior to the pandemic-caused flooding of applicants for remote positions. So why wouldn’t anyone even consider interviewing me, let alone actually hire me?

A very long gap on my resume. I had chosen to be a stay-at-home mom for about sixteen years. My dusty resume showed dates that deterred potential employers from considering me.

With my master’s degree in school psychology, I had the option of applying for the full-time, unpaid internship required for me to become certified to work in public schools. But that unpaid position would also cost me the tuition fees for the credits and the cost of childcare plus the commuting and clothing costs, and I really needed to start generating income. After having had to navigate advocacy for my two children through multiple school settings, I was no longer sure I wanted to work within that system.

So I kept applying for jobs until I found a virtual assistant company based in England who was willing to take a chance on me. I was starting at $11 an hour, which was below minimum wage even at that time. I took the position and began seeking out clients whose work was within my field of study and would allow me access to systems I could train myself on, while building a network of more current professional references and resuscitating my resume.

Embarrassed by my feeble paychecks, I worked diligently at making my tech and software skills relevant. I provided quality administrative support to all my clients. I began formulating my own business plan, and step by step began to build it. I learned how to create my own LLC. I used well-researched templates for founding documents and contracts. I learned how to create my own website and set-up business social media accounts. I worked for my direct clients online during the day and chipped away at my business plans on nights and weekends.

Friends and family looked skeptical when I shared my ideas. Many suggested I continue looking for a brick and mortar job. My sister-in-law told me how irresponsible I was being and that I should go get a low paying job at a school like she had done so I could take some financial pressure off her brother, my then husband.

I stayed my course, telling people I wasn’t sure, but that I thought I had an idea here that I could turn into something real. I believed in my talents, skills, intelligence and work ethic. I believed I could value and pay myself in ways I deserved that others were not recognizing in me.

I also believed that I could continue prioritizing supporting my two children while re-establishing my career outside of my family life. I knew running my own business would be demanding, and I also knew I would be a very responsible business owner who could manage being there for my kids in the middle of a standard workday when needed, and then get the work done at night or on a weekend if need be. What other employer would give me that trust and leeway? Surely, I could be fairer to myself than anyone else would.

When covid shutdowns hit and all things went remote everywhere, I used all the extra time to pour into building my business. I had just hired my first two contractors and there were what felt like endless workflows and documents to create and implement. I spent the shutdown years working long days, nights and weekends. Ironically, I met more people than I had in years through phone calls and zooms as my business expanded. I noticed my confidence building as I saw myself on camera speaking about things I didn’t even know I knew.

Eight years from when I had started, my beliefs proved true.

After a couple years with my super low income, although I did get raised up to I think it may have been $16 per hour near the end, I had established my own direct clients. My hourly rate had surged out on my own, and I still continued improving upon my website, marketing myself, and building infrastructure. I self-taught and did not go into debt.

Once I reached capacity of how many direct services I could provide, I began hiring subcontractors. Word of mouth spread and I had more clients than I could serve as an individual. I started matching assistants to clients. I created training folders, policies and procedures, and adapted legal document templates to my needs. I learned about marketing and human resources, tax laws, accounting, bookkeeping, and sales.

I did all the interviewing and hiring, training and supervising. I personally did all the discovery calls (sales), and client ongoing support once matched to an assistant. Once I reached a high enough profit level, I hired an accountant, and consulted with attorneys to improve upon my contracts and business practices.

With each increase in gross revenue, I elevated the quality of what I had independently built by hiring professionals to consult with.

Eventually, I could afford hiring an assistant for myself. On average, I typically have around 20 part-time assistants working for me at a given time, mostly women, many mothers themselves.

I am so grateful that I have met and surpassed my financial goals for the business and for myself. It is contract work and being self-employed does not come with any guarantees – no health or retirement benefits, no paid time off, no tenure. It is a bit of a hustle culture, but I have discovered that I enjoy the challenges and the diversity of all the areas I must learn about in order to keep my business thriving.

Like all things, it comes with ups and downs, but the overall birds eye view has been a net positive for me personally, for my life, and in supporting myself and my kids.

My husband (now former husband) didn’t take my success well, which was an unpleasant surprise after I had supported his career for multiple years. That could be a whole other essay in itself. But I will say I believe my successful business was at least one of the many factors that led to the ending of my marriage.

Friends and family who were skeptical in the early days were surprised by my success, and proud and happy for me, even though many still aren’t sure exactly what I do.

I walk taller, dress nicer, and hold my head up more since creating my business. I enjoy many aspects of it – the creativity, the ingenuity, the intellectual and social challenges of running it. I am grateful I can pay myself a good salary. I am grateful I was able to weather a few rough years of personal struggles – separation, my mother’s illness and death, supporting my teen son through many struggles, and a health scare – with my income and job intact. I often noted how I would’ve been fired if I had had to be physically in an office Monday through Friday from 9-5 through all that. I worked from the car, in waiting rooms, from mid-day school meetings, late at night and on weekends when needed. It kept me financially afloat and sometimes I think it also kept me sane.

I have come to love my business like another person in my life. I am so proud of it, of myself. I often think back to that $11 an hour job I was so ashamed of. I remember the glazed over looks in people’s eyes when I had told them what I was doing for work back then. It was almost as bad as the vacant, uninterested looks people gave when I used to say I was a stay at home mother. Even through my insecurities, I could still feel that inner belief in myself and what I could do.

Becoming a mother does not diminish strength. It challenges us to meet new heights with limitless demands constantly growing and changing. The workforce is lucky to have us, whether we continue working all the way through or take some time off to be at home with our kids.

Now, any opportunity I get, I tell new mothers to try to keep something current on their resume – even a very small part-time job. I interview and hire as many as I can. I often share what I experienced after a long gap, and highly recommend they keep something moving on that resume because our culture is very unforgiving of women pausing from their careers while caring for their children.

I found that even close friends and family had begun to doubt my capabilities after having not worked outside my family life for many years. The issues between “working mothers” and “stay at home mothers” seemed to break their way into most of my social interactions. Again, a whole other essay can be written about that.

Thankfully, I was able to see myself still in there underneath all these layers - the way potential employers saw me, the built up insecurity that comes with working hard to support your family for many years without external recognition like a salary or a title, and how people close and far viewed me for my choice to pause my career to be what felt right to me with caring for my kids.

It feels great to have been able to find success after being the one person who believed in me most, which gave me the courage to take risks, work hard and create my own career when others didn’t see my worth.