Kids dressed in their carefully selected first day of school outfits carrying their brand new backpacks filled to the brim with sharpened pencils, treasured school supplies, and boxes of tissues to supply classrooms through flu season.

As I swim around my circle like a goldfish, the only sign of my kids in the water are the two pairs of goggles and the water guns floating around the pool that I had optimistically bought back in May. My 13- and 22-year-old kids have sadly lost interest, so it’s become my private oasis.

“Watch the tram car please…watch the tram car please…”

Massaging tinted moisturizer into my thinner more translucent aging skin, trying to lighten the heavy dark circles under my eyes. Applying eyeliner and shadow to brighten them, my eyes have not looked the same since July 15 of the previous year. Still I try to tap into my beauty, my light.

Squinting my eyes as the warm glow of the Christmas tree lights spread into star-like shapes, I glanced at the cricket bat leaning against the corner of the living room wall.

The loud crackling sounds from policemen’s walkie talkies crashed through me. Hearing my mom beg her dad to not make her go.

Before opening her eyes, she awakens to a racing heart as a surging wave of dread rushes through her. The red digital numbers on her nightstand shout 5:38. How will she get through this day?